Tag Archives: Funny

Funny things my kids say #16

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In typical Nova Scotia fashion, our current winter weather is rain on the cusp of freezing and the children are housebound. We’ve invited BDN’s son over to play and he has just earned himself a guest appearance in Funny things my kids say

While digging through our toy box, the eight-year-old exclaimed,

“Wow! It’s been years since I’ve seen a slinky!”

Isn’t it nice to reminisce about your earlier childhood?

Previous: Funny things my kids say #15

Funny things my kids say #15

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CJ’s letter to Santa had me shaking my head (no way will Santa be bringing him an iPad mini) and then roaring with laughter.

Remembering that he is in French immersion and his English spelling is atrocious, allow me to transcribe the 8 year-old’s wish list.

…iPad mini, magic 8 ball, Furby, Max Rebo minifigure,

“… a Mexican hat that goes down to your butt.”

I think he might be watching too much Bugs Bunny.

Previous: Funny things my kids say #14

My God, you’re sexy!

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I’m getting a little ahead of myself, perhaps this should be more of an Easter post. I mean, it’s still before Christmas, Jesus hasn’t even been born. However, the sign down the street keeps telling me “Jesus is the reason for the season!” so I’m going to take liberties and skip ahead to grown-up Jesus. (Not my best logic.) Continue reading

Funny things my kids say #14

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(Apologies for my extended absence. I was waylaid by the flu last week and have just gotten back up to speed.)

On Friday morning I overheard the 6-year-old start this conversation with his brother,

ET – “On a date, do you think it is better to go to a movie or go to dinner and drink wine?”

CJ – “A movie.”

ET – “No, I mean if you are adults and in love.”

CJ – “Oh, then definitely dinner with wine.”

ET – “Yeah, I think so too.”

I’m not sure who my boys are planning on wooing… but at least they’ve got class!

Previous: Funny things my kids say #13

Funny things my kids say #13

tripping

If you are ever being chased by zombies, ET is the person to have running beside you. This kid cannot run for any significant distance without tripping. In fact, it is so predictable, The Husband can often do a precise countdown from the beginning of his run to the anticipated tripping point.

The good thing about all this tripping, is that he is now incredibly resilient and bounces right back up with a hearty, “I’m okay!”

On Saturday, we attended a pre-parade party. It was a beautifully mild evening and the horde of children were outside chasing each other around the house while us adults had drinks inside.  As we were leaving to walk to the parade, I noted ET’s muddied knees as evidence of his usual stumbles.

Walking down the front walk to the sidewalk, the 6-year-old was jubilant, exclaiming how much fun the party had been. He then became very serious, pointed to a low-lying shrub in the yard and said,

“Mommy, see that bush… it’s my arch-enemy.”

Apparently, as he ran laps around the house, the same bush had tripped him every time.

Previous:  Funny things my kids say #12

Awkward hilarity

There is a site that I sometimes visit when I need a little pick me up. It is full of love, family togetherness, and awkwardness caught on film. It is Awkward Family Photos. Sometimes I like to tell myself a little story as I flip through the pages. After all, they say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Jerry was a lonely man with a cat. He truly loved that cat, but he yearned for more.

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He earned a pittance as a freelance writer but, by cutting the cost of clothes out of his budget, he was able to scrimp and save until he could finally afford his dream vacation. A dream vacation where he landed Barbara, the perfect woman.

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It was a whirlwind engagement and everyone could see that Jerry was head over heals in love… Continue reading

Funny things my kids say #12

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I recently cleaned out some old office space and came across this drawing. This is its story…

A couple of years ago, I received a call from daycare that ET had a fever. I quickly left to pick him up but had to come back to the office to gather some work to bring home. I set ET up with some scrap paper and a pencil to keep him busy.

My office mate, Sue, was going to the gym to work out. She said goodbye to ET and went to the bathroom to change.

When we were ready to leave, I stopped to admire ET’s drawing. The 4-year-old’s deadpan explanation was,

“It’s a picture of Sue… naked.”

This scrap was immediately taped to our office wall in a place of honour. It’s a keeper… but I’ve always really hoped that the centre design was his attempt at a belly button!

Previous: Funny things my kids say #11

Bread and circuses

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I’ve recently started watching The Walking Dead which, for those of you who haven’t been paying attention for the past three years, is a TV show about the titular zombies. Except, it’s not… at least, not in the way that The Vampire Diaries is about vampires or Heroes is about superheros.

The Walking Dead is actually about the people who are forced into a very stressful situation (as seeing your loved ones eaten alive by zombies would naturally be) and how their personalities and the group dynamics change in response.

It actually reminds me a lot of airplane travel. Continue reading

Leaving on a jet plane

On Friday, I’m flying to San Diego for a one day meeting. For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, I live in Halifax, Canada. Let me show you what this means.

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Only if I moved to Brigus could this trip across North America be any further. I have a full day of travel on either side of the meeting. For this reason, I’ll be staying an extra day… gotta try to make all that travel seem worthwhile.

This may sound like complaining, please let me assure you it is not. In fact, allow me to present:

11 things I hate love about travelling for work

1) Lack of control – On travel days, my only decisions are which snacks to eat and what movies to watch. Everything else is pre-planned or not in my power to change. “I’m going to miss my connection? Oh well… what time’s the next one?”

2) Nothing to do – People watching during an airport stop-over is sociologically fascinating. It is an amazing cross-section of the population and even slightly odd behaviours are strangely amplified.

3) Long flights – I’m pretty compact and have excellent bladder control so I like to settle into a window seat and not budge until it’s time to deplane. It’s very relaxing to have hours of uninterrupted rest and am often asleep by takeoff.

4) Turbulence – I have absolutely no fear of flying and I’m able to find the science behind flight incredibly interesting. Never is the physics so apparent than during wind-shifts and up-drafts… Especially in a small plane!

5) Hotel bathroom – It’s a wonderful feeling, knowing the toilet seat will always be down and the only pee on the floor will be mine.

6) Strange bed – Sleeping in crisp white linen that I didn’t have to make, with nobody crying out for me in the middle of the night. Ahhhh, paradise!

7) Eating alone – I don’t have to cajole anyone to eat their food or threaten to give away their chair if they don’t sit their butt down immediately.

8) Jet lag – Since I’m not a morning person, it’s great that a 7:15am meeting start will feel like 11:15am. I’m also not a late night person so the time change is a great excuse to beg out early from evening functions.

9) Strangers in my room – Messes are just magically gone when I come back at the end of the day.

10) Being a nobody – The anonymity of travel is very freeing. I don’t have to do anything for anybody else, unless I choose to. Ironically, I become very generous when I travel.

11) Homesickness – It’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Being away from the family for a few days helps revive lost perspective. My boys are never so cute, and I never appreciate The Husband more, than upon my return.

How about you? Traveling alone… love it or hate it?

Funny things my kids say #11

Rafa pics (picks?) for my mom!

Rafa pics (picks?) for my mom!


This morning, shortly after getting dressed for school, the 6-year-old called out in distress,

“I need new pants! These ones keep following my bum!”

Turns out he had a wedgie.

Previous: Funny things my kids say #10