Tag Archives: Funny

Funny things my kids say #27

elvis

We’ve just come home from the 12-year-old’s elementary school closing ceremony. This was a significant event for ET and his friends, not only because they’re “graduating” from Grade 6, but because they’ll be splitting up into two different junior high schools after seven years together.

Throughout the year, his awesome teacher had their class keep gratitude journals and I was excited to read ET’s when it came home today. While the majority of his entries were repetitive and inspired by a lack of homework, riding his bike to school, or arrival of a weekend, there were also a few that begged to be shared.

Here, in a category mash-up of “Lists” and “Funny things my kids say” are the best of the best (without dates, but still in chronological order):

11 things my kid felt grateful for this year

1) Not stepping in dog poop

2) Women’s rights

3) Elvis being mentioned in the book he was reading

4) Staying at his grandparents for the weekend

5) A friend giving him a slice of pizza

6) ELVIS! (It was Halloween and he was Elvis)

7) Getting to read to the littles (Primary/Grade 1 students)

8) Stop, Drop, and Read

9) Listening to Elvis

10) Writing poems

11) Being in Mme. Chiasson’s class (This was today’s, the last day of school)

Sigh… my baby is growing up!

When I was a boy, I always saw myself as a hero in comic books and in movies. I grew up believing this dream. – Elvis Presley

Previous: Funny things my kids say #26

Funny things my kids say #26

ferry

Yesterday, The Husband and the two boys were taking part in the Hometown Hockey activities that were happening on the Dartmouth side of the city. I had dropped them off earlier in the day, and after the festivities, they took the ferry across the harbour to catch a bus home. Our ferry boats are for foot and bicycle traffic only (pictured above) and aren’t large.

ET obviously couldn’t remember the previous times he had been on one, because last night as they boarded the boat, the 9-year-old asked his father…

“Is there a buffet?”

Not sure what kind of lavish cruise he was expecting for the 10 minute crossing.

Previous: Funny things my kids say #25

Funny things my kids say #25

sheep_0

Last night, ET was yelling to me from his bed that he was having trouble falling asleep.

When I pointed out to him that he had only been in bed for five minutes and that it might take a little longer than that, he said in a very sad voice…

“My body is ready to sleep but my brain wants to read some more.”

I know what you mean kid… every afternoon at work!

Previous: Funny things my kids say #24

Funny things my kids say #24

SantaJesus

This morning, prompted by the carol mix we had playing, the 8-year-old asked The Husband…

“What was Santa’s career before Jesus was born?”

The Christmas spirit is strong in this one… even when it bumps into his practicality!

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Previous: Funny things my kids say #23

Funny things my kids say #23

 

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My youngest son just turned 8 and he is going through a very observant stage. You really can’t get anything by him these days.

Since we got Dexter, ET has been following him around and studying canine behaviour. This weekend he came to a conclusion…

“I wish I was a dog. They don’t have to go to school, they get lots of treats…”

He paused, then added in a loud whisper,

“…and they can lick their penis!”

Ahhh, the good life.

Previous: Funny things my kids say #22

 

11 ways I know we’re parents of little boys

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I know none of these are exclusive to a house with boys but, as a whole, I think the gender of our children is pretty clear.

1) Random toy collections litter every surface of our home. 

2) There is a high-tide line in our bathtub. 

3) “Wash your hands before you touch anything!” is a standing order. 

4) We have a mysterious “trail-mix” factory in our car.

5) We are grateful everytime the puddle on the bathroom floor is only water.

6) We know the excruciating pain of stepping barefoot on Lego. 

7) The only “F word” in our house is fart. 

8) We have a “no bugs/rocks/sticks in the house” rule. 

9) We can’t make plans until we check the kids’ hockey schedule.  

10) The laundry never ends. 

11) Our house had a stinky dog odor before we even got a dog!

Do you have boys, girls or a mixture? Does your house have a particular gender flavour?

Funny things my kids say #22

IMG_0863

This morning the 9-year-old was overheard sharing some wisdom with his friends…

“Note to self: when parents say “maybe” they usually mean no.”

True dat!

Previous: Funny things my kids say #21

 

Tweet, tweet

After a somber day it is great to lighten up…

https://twitter.com/wickedcynic/status/474355646595612672


https://twitter.com/wickedcynic/status/474355505004285952

https://twitter.com/wickedcynic/status/474547325940293632

@WickedCynic and @JiminyKicksIt – Thanks for the laughs!

11 answers to 11 questions

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It’s Friday night and I’m tired and uninspired. It must be the fatigue from my return to work but my brain has adamantly refused to be creative this week. So, in order to shake off the cobwebs, I’m going to pull out an old blogging standard and answer some questions.

Here we go!

11 random questions I just asked myself

1) What is your favourite physical attribute?
My smile. I always try to keep it genuine.

2) What is your favourite aspect of your personality?
My humour. It has gotten me through some pretty rough patches.

3) What is the strangest lie you have ever told?
When I was leaving the closing ceremonies of the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, Australia, I convinced a train car full of people that I was the short stop for the Canadian softball team. (I happened to be wearing my Team Canada sweatshirt.) Everyone assured me that our 8th place finish wasn’t too bad.

4) If you could be a superhero, what power would you possess?
Super-speed. I would love to be able to zip around and get things done really quickly while everyone else puttered along at a normal pace. Then I could just sit back and chill.

5) On a scale of 1 to 10, how weird are you?
7.3

6. How do you feel about garden gnomes?
I used to be agnostic. Since Harry Potter, I never turn my back on them.

7) What time is it?
10:42 pm

8) Who is your current celebrity crush?
Richard Armitage. He’s a great Thorin Oakenshield, but I originally fell head over heels in love with him (sans facial prosthetics) as John Thornton in BBC’s adaptation of North and South.

9. Would you rather live in the fictional future or the fictional past?
As much as I love sci-if, I have to pick the past. I think my bosom was made for a corset.

10) What aspect of your personality do you hide from others?
I’m a huge romantic and love getting swept away by Jane Austin and BBC period dramas. See questions 8 and 9!

11) Are you ever going to finish writing your novel?
YES! Stop hounding me!

Do you have any questions you would like to ask… or answer?

Funny things my kids say #17

roundabout

This is a picture of our local roundabout… with no traffic.

The boys and I now travel this route on Friday evenings, during the height of traffic, on the way to swimming lessons. Last week I found myself in the wrong lane and had to pull off an impressive feat of merging. It intrigued the kids and a slew of questions ensued.

For the rest of the drive, I explained why I had rolled the window down to make better eye contact.  I described how I had  mouthed, “Can I go?” and pointed in front of the neighbouring car. I recounted how my fellow driver had pointed back and given the thumbs up and that my over-the-shoulder wave had been in thanks…  and yes, he had waved back.

After this  long-winded (and slightly self-congratulatory) explanation, there was a pause. Then the 6-year-old asked…

“Is that how you and Daddy fell in love?”

Glad I wasn’t the only one who saw such beauty in the maneuver.

Previous: Funny things my kids say #16