There is a site that I sometimes visit when I need a little pick me up. It is full of love, family togetherness, and awkwardness caught on film. It is Awkward Family Photos. Sometimes I like to tell myself a little story as I flip through the pages. After all, they say a picture is worth a thousand words.
Jerry was a lonely man with a cat. He truly loved that cat, but he yearned for more.
He earned a pittance as a freelance writer but, by cutting the cost of clothes out of his budget, he was able to scrimp and save until he could finally afford his dream vacation. A dream vacation where he landed Barbara, the perfect woman.
It was a whirlwind engagement and everyone could see that Jerry was head over heals in love…
… and that Barbara would always be the apple of his eye.
They quickly became inseparable and went everywhere together.
They yearned to know each other “biblically”…
… but Barbara was a traditional girl and insisted they wait, as did her three brothers.
Jerry could hardly contain his love and was on her like white on rice as soon as the wedding papers were signed…
…during the photo shoot…
…and every chance they got during the reception.
It was certainly no surprise to anyone when they announced that they were expecting a baby a short while later. Unfortunately, Jerry was still a struggling writer and they found themselves living in a broken down car with only their love to keep them warm.
Things got even worse around Easter when Jerry’s part-time gig at the mall resulted in him possibly facing child molestation charges.
Barbara was wracked with guilt because she was the one who had suggested he use the carrot as a prop. She quickly sunk into a deep depression…
…until things suddenly turned around and Jerry’s bunny connections led to her getting a job at the Playboy mansion.
Now that they were financially stable, they decided to have a home birth…
… and they had a beautiful baby boy.
They splurged on luxury family vacations and thought they were living a charmed life.
But then Barbara again found herself pregnant and everything changed when the twins were born.
Money once again became tight and they found themselves scavenging for food.
Jerry struggled to make ends meet by getting the family work in a traveling vaudeville show.
He also began dancing with The Businessmen, a popular adult entertainment troupe. They really knew how to take care of business, if you know what I mean. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink…
Unfortunately, Jerry got sucked into the dirty underbelly of male stripping and Barbara was forced to take the children and leave him. Not long after the divorce, Barbara met Bob, a widowed father and devote practitioner of the martial arts.
They soon married and she, and her now grown children, moved to Japan where Bob owned a lucrative kimono export company.
Penniless and alone, Jerry hit rock-bottom and was forced to move back in with his mother.
Although their love was dead and gone forever, Jerry and Barbara’s story will always be remembered.
All images are from awkwardfamilyphotos.com