Tag Archives: Funny

My new mantra

Image from Cato's Domain

Image from Cato’s Domain

My writing group took an unplanned hiatus during the summer but got back together on Monday night. There was a lot of catching up to do. Before the night was over, my stomach hurt from laughing about moose hunting in Cape Breton, I learned some Disney vacation tips, and I got to physically hold our first published book. (Of course it’s not “our” book at all, I just want to bask in Meghan’s success for a little bit longer.)

The best part of the night, however, was when we actually talked about our writing. Continue reading

Funny things my kids say #10

1-year-old ET asleep in the living room. I wonder what he was dreaming about then.

1-year-old ET asleep in the living room. I wonder what he was dreaming about then.

As usual this morning, The Husband was up very early, well before the rest of us, getting himself ready for his bike to work.

He was in the kitchen when he heard ET shout out, “Mommy… mumble, mumble, mumble… hangnail!”

He raced upstairs to quiet him down, saying, “Shhhh… It’s too early, Mommy and CJ are still sleeping.”

Still more than half-asleep himself, the 6-year-old muttered back,

“Sorry… that was supposed to be in my dream.”

Previous: Funny things my kids say #9

I’m a hockey mom!

6 year-old ET, waiting for a pass

6 year-old ET, waiting for a pass

I spent half of today at the rink.

I’m not complaining (mainly because The Husband usually shoulders most of the duty) but, once hockey season starts, our weekends are dictated by practice times and game schedules.

When the boys were babies and toddlers, I joked that they were only allowed to get involved in activities to which they could find their own way. I really didn’t want to be one of those moms, driving a minivan with a “Mom’s taxi” bumper sticker.

Well, it’s not a minivan and there’s no bumper sticker, but between soccer, swimming, Beavers, and now hockey it sure feels like a taxi. Continue reading

What was I thinking?

Laughing Men, sculpture by Yue Minjun, Today Art Museum, Beijing

Laughing Men sculpture by Yue Minjun, Today Art Museum, Beijing

When The Husband and I were in Italy, we did a walking tour of Florence that included the major churches and museums. It was a jam-packed day with only a short break for lunch.

The tour ended with us at the Uffizi and, after being shown the “must-sees”, we still had some time before closing. Even though our feet were throbbing and our brains were mush, we decided to stick around to quickly go through the areas that weren’t part of the tour itinerary.

When I reach a certain point of extreme fatigue, I start to look like the guys in the sculpture above. I get silly. I think it’s a survival instinct that kicks in to delay the next stage of my fatigue, which is a rage that might result in me looking for a place to dispose of a body. (FYI, I would have dumped it in the Arno.) Continue reading

Funny things my kids say #9

We use a lot of Crazy Glue!

We use a lot of Crazy Glue!

One of ET’s first nicknames was Destructor (said in a super-hero voice). When he could talk well enough to say, “Stop calling me that!” we did… to his face.

This weekend, ET was sent inside by his big brother to report the latest breakage (just a pair of nail clippers they were using to cut pipe-cleaners).

On his way back out, just before the door slammed shut, I heard the 8-year-old ask,

“Did she say ‘Okay’ or ‘Uuugghh*’?”

*huge sigh of disgust

I guess predictable isn’t the worst thing I could be.

Previous: Funny things my kids say #8

Funny things my kids say #8

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Back in July, I wrote about having “the talk” with CJ. As I wrote in that post we have always used the proper names for the various body parts.

Thank goodness we have. If not, I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of hearing this explanation from the 6-year-old when I found pee on the bathroom floor (yet again).

“I couldn’t help it! My penis skin was stuck to my testpickle!”

Previous: Funny things my kids say #7

Funny things my kids say #6

step-on-a-crack

We were woken last night by a crying 6-year-old. The Husband took the call.

ET had a nightmare in which a shark had attacked him and bit his bum. He made his dad check to see if there was a bite. “No, but there’s a big crack…” (Classic Husband humour.)

This immediately raised the question,

“If somebody steps on a bum, will it break their mother’s back?”

Deep thoughts at 2 AM…

Previous: Funny things my kids say #5

The time Harry Potter broke my nose

Harry-Potter-and-the-Deathly-Hallows-Part-2-clip

I have a pretty significant bruise where I sprained my ankle. It’s gotten a few oohs and aahs around the office, and that’s saying something, seeing that I work in a hospital.

It’s brought to mind a few other major bruises that I’ll always remember… Continue reading

Funny things my kids say #5

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I stumbled down some stairs today and sprained my ankle. (I’m okay Mom!)

I was carrying an armload of stuff, as usual, and landed in a heap on the grass. Luckily, the only witnesses were the boys and The Husband, who was bringing up the rear with his own armload of stuff.

When I didn’t immediately pop back up, The Husband went back in for an ice pack and the boys planted their bums on the stairs, repeatedly asking, “Mommy, are you okay?”

While I rolled on the ground in that early state of is-it-broken-or-just-sprained pain, I happened to pass some gas. My 8-year-old brightened up and exclaimed,

“Well, there’s nothing that doesn’t feel better after a little fart!”

He was right, suddenly I couldn’t stop laughing…

Previous: Funny things my kids say #4

What do you remember from when you were six?

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We just had an amazing day. There were roller-coasters, Ferris wheels, water-slides, tubing, and hours in a pool.

ET, our six-year old has been going full tilt since 7 AM, and has only stopped to eat. He has also been talking non-stop, giving us a play-by-play of every activity… even though we have been beside him for it all. Continue reading