I’m getting a little ahead of myself, perhaps this should be more of an Easter post. I mean, it’s still before Christmas, Jesus hasn’t even been born. However, the sign down the street keeps telling me “Jesus is the reason for the season!” so I’m going to take liberties and skip ahead to grown-up Jesus. (Not my best logic.)
I know why the Church has always portrayed Jesus as a handsome guy. What better way to fill the pews, right? All the women want him and all the men want to be him… something like that anyway.
As Popular Mechanics illustrated over ten years ago, if Jesus was a real person, he would have looked more like this.
Jesus would have only been about 5 feet tall and his olive toned skin would have been dark and aged from working out in the sun. It is very unlikely that he would have looked like Hollywood’s version of him over the years. For example, Robert Powell, who is the blue-eyed Adonis at the top of this post.
Or Ted Neeley, in Jesus Christ Superstar.
Christian Bale in Mary, Mother of Jesus.
Willem Defoe in The Last Temptation of Christ
Oh, and one of my particular favourites, blond Jeffery Hunter in King of Kings
Anyway, the whole point of this post is to show you my new favourite Jesus.
Thanks to my friend Le Clown for the introduction to this incarnation.
Hmmmmm… will you please excuse me while I go, ummm… say my prayers?
Heh. As a bona fide heretic, I wasn’t exposed this smut 😉
Good to know you will be in hell with me!
This post was so true. Sex does sell…clothes, ideas, religion, etc…
This was a very awesome post! Loved it!!
This was awesome – I hadn’t seen those A&F ads before and am oh so happy for the introduction!
I’m still trying to figure out if it is a real ad or one Le Clown concocted for his own purposes… either way, I’m sold!
This isn’t a real ad. That ad is all Le Clown’s work. It is part of my special Holidays banner celebrating pop culture SNAFUs of 2013. Here is more on it:
I knew this from reading your page but a part of me just wanted so much for it to be real! Anyway… thanks for the inspiration.
Too funny! Yet nearly every reader is probably agreeing with you. And saying their prayers. 🙂
Sex sells! People just can’t resist the temptation… 😉
Reblogged this on Beatz kane Blog 143.
Can’t wait to see Mary Magdalen on the cover of Maxim.
My research agrees that she would be hot! So does Every Day Jay in this post. http://cynicalbstd.blogspot.ca/2010/10/jesus-sex-life-is-none-of-our-business.html
She probably cries out her own name during sex.