Tag Archives: Funny

Postscript on Music today

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As a follow-up to my post “Music today… grumble grumble” I’d like to direct your attention to this extremely funny article from the Onion. It was published on June 27th but I didn’t see it until tonight.

Eminem Terrified as Daughter Begins Dating Man Raised on His Music.

“Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do here. How am I supposed to let Hailie go out with a guy who says I was a huge influence on him and all of his friends?”

“And his parents let him listen to it?” Eminem continued. “What kind of house was that? I don’t even want to think about what kind of people they are.”

The Onion is an American satirical news website that parodies traditional newspapers by using a layout based on the American Press. It is always good for a few laughs.

Funny things my kids say #1

Photograph by Oliver Klink

Photograph by Oliver Klink

The 6-year-old as we walked behind a couple who were holding hands.

“Are they in love, or are they just married?”

A Canadian, an Australian and an Irishman walk into an American drug store…

Image: Guardian.co.uk using images from iStockphoto

Image: Guardian.co.uk using images from iStockphoto

Every year, when I was travelling with the tennis tour, I worked an event in Hilton Head, South Carolina. Shortly after this tournament, I would head back to Canada for a few weeks off before heading over to Europe.

While in Hilton Head, I received an e-mail request from a very close friend. He had an allergy and could only use latex-free condoms. In those days, they were still difficult to find in Canada and he was hoping I could pick him up a few boxes before heading home. Continue reading

Mom was right, TV will rot your brains!

LooneyTunes

One morning I came down the stairs and CJ asked, “Are you wearing Pajama Jeans with the amazing butt lift?” He was deadpan serious.

I was scared to ask, but I did. “What are Pajama Jeans?”

“It’s PaJAAAHma Jeans,” he said, correcting my pronunciation.

“My apologies, what are PaJAAAHma Jeans?”

“They’re jeans that are so comfortable you can sleep in them. Like pajamas,” he answered, still very serious.

“And they have amazing butt lift,” exclaimed his younger brother.

Continue reading

11 things I misunderstood as a kid

A couple of days ago I overheard the boys talking and had to clarify that when someone says, “I’d bet my life,” you don’t actually kill them if they are wrong.

This got me thinking about some of the misunderstandings that had me quietly worried when I was a kid. Continue reading

Oh look! An eagle!

Have you seen this commercial? It’s vintage 2005 for a British brand of canned salmon and a long time favourite of mine.

As I disclosed in my very first post, I’m an introvert. This seems to be incongruous with my public persona because I have a highly developed survival reaction that kicks in when I’m uncomfortable – distract everyone’s attention with humour.

My difficulty lies in knowing when enough is enough.

Continue reading

Quality time

This tweet from Charlie and Andy @HowToBeADad got me reminiscing…

We parents spend an awful (and I mean awful in all senses of the word) lot of time dealing with poop. As a newbie you think there can be nothing worse than a bad diaper when, in reality, the worst is still to come. The wiping stage.

Continue reading

11 reasons my husband is an amazing dad

1. He read and sang to the boys in utero and his voice could calm them better than anyone’s after they were born.

2. He gagged at the very first poop in the hospital, but he stuck with it and never looked back.

3. He got excited about how the sun would bleach out the cloth diapers as they hung on the line.

4. He once caught toddler vomit in his hands while cooing “It’s okay, Baby, it’s okay…”

5. His lullaby to the boys was James Taylor’s Sweet Baby James.

6. He is never afraid of being silly.

7. He always has more tolerance with the boys at bedtime than I do.

8. His “be grateful that Mommy makes you this yummy food” speech is superb.

9. Every week he individually sits with the boys while they divide their allowance between three jars; save, share and spend.

10. He has as much fun playing with Nerf guns as the kids do.

11. The boys love his weekend oatmeal, and I love sleeping in while they eat it.

Happy Father’s Day, to all the great dads out there.

Multicultural crayons

My youngest nephew will be starting school in September. As part of his orientation package, he received this box of crayons.

multicultural crayons Continue reading

Tweet, tweet

More funniness from the twitterverse…

https://twitter.com/JiminyKicksIt/status/345291037557792769

https://twitter.com/JiminyKicksIt/status/345289363606892544

https://twitter.com/JiminyKicksIt/status/344922343669370880

https://twitter.com/JiminyKicksIt/status/344548828449480704

@JiminyKicksIt and @JimGaffigan – Gentlemen, thanks for the laughs!