People are skeptical when I tell them I’m shy. I guess my acting, public speaking and propensity to be the life of the party is part of the problem. I now realize I’ve been using the wrong term; I’m not shy, I’m an introvert.
According to Psychology Today shy people want to connect with people but don’t know how or can’t tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to be those who are more energized when alone with themselves and don’t crave social interaction. They are the ones who have to be dragged to parties, who are the first ones ready to leave after a short period of time, and who generally enjoy solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.
If you are acquainted with me, this still may not seem to fit… but if you KNOW me, it certainly does. I’m what a therapist might call a “closet introvert”. In other words, I’m great at being a people person and am highly entertaining but it is exhausting and doesn’t come naturally.
I will attend a party and be extremely outgoing and amusing. I will present to large groups and perform on stage. I have a strong sense of duty when I am in a social group and like to keep everyone entertained. I will enjoy these interactions immensely while they are taking place but, when they are over, I am drained and need time alone to recharge. The bigger the gathering, the more energy it takes and the more tired I will be.
As I’m getting older and am already exhausted by daily life, I’m coming out of the closet. I now try to avoid large gatherings of people I don’t know well. In small groups or with intimate friends and family, I don’t have the same need to entertain and the energy expenditure is low and well worth the pleasure I receive.
So what does this have to do with blogging? Well, I’m also a writer. While children’s stories and novels are fun and entertaining (sound familiar?) I want to discover what else there is. Let’s see what happens.