I’m getting a little ahead of myself, perhaps this should be more of an Easter post. I mean, it’s still before Christmas, Jesus hasn’t even been born. However, the sign down the street keeps telling me “Jesus is the reason for the season!” so I’m going to take liberties and skip ahead to grown-up Jesus. (Not my best logic.) Continue reading
Posted in Caught My Eye
Tagged blogging, Funny, humor, humour, Jesus, Le Clown, Social media
(Apologies for my extended absence. I was waylaid by the flu last week and have just gotten back up to speed.)
On Friday morning I overheard the 6-year-old start this conversation with his brother,
ET – “On a date, do you think it is better to go to a movie or go to dinner and drink wine?”
CJ – “A movie.”
ET – “No, I mean if you are adults and in love.”
CJ – “Oh, then definitely dinner with wine.”
ET – “Yeah, I think so too.”
I’m not sure who my boys are planning on wooing… but at least they’ve got class!
Previous: Funny things my kids say #13
Posted in Funny things my kids say
Tagged brothers, dating, Family, Funny, humor, humour, kids, Relationships
If you are ever being chased by zombies, ET is the person to have running beside you. This kid cannot run for any significant distance without tripping. In fact, it is so predictable, The Husband can often do a precise countdown from the beginning of his run to the anticipated tripping point.
The good thing about all this tripping, is that he is now incredibly resilient and bounces right back up with a hearty, “I’m okay!”
On Saturday, we attended a pre-parade party. It was a beautifully mild evening and the horde of children were outside chasing each other around the house while us adults had drinks inside. As we were leaving to walk to the parade, I noted ET’s muddied knees as evidence of his usual stumbles.
Walking down the front walk to the sidewalk, the 6-year-old was jubilant, exclaiming how much fun the party had been. He then became very serious, pointed to a low-lying shrub in the yard and said,
Apparently, as he ran laps around the house, the same bush had tripped him every time.
Previous: Funny things my kids say #12
Posted in Funny things my kids say
Tagged Family, Funny, humor, humour, kids, Santa Claus parade
There is a site that I sometimes visit when I need a little pick me up. It is full of love, family togetherness, and awkwardness caught on film. It is Awkward Family Photos. Sometimes I like to tell myself a little story as I flip through the pages. After all, they say a picture is worth a thousand words.
Jerry was a lonely man with a cat. He truly loved that cat, but he yearned for more.
He earned a pittance as a freelance writer but, by cutting the cost of clothes out of his budget, he was able to scrimp and save until he could finally afford his dream vacation. A dream vacation where he landed Barbara, the perfect woman.
It was a whirlwind engagement and everyone could see that Jerry was head over heals in love… Continue reading
Posted in Caught My Eye
Tagged Awkward Family Photos, fiction, Funny, humor, humour, kids, Love, memories, photographs
I recently cleaned out some old office space and came across this drawing. This is its story…
A couple of years ago, I received a call from daycare that ET had a fever. I quickly left to pick him up but had to come back to the office to gather some work to bring home. I set ET up with some scrap paper and a pencil to keep him busy.
My office mate, Sue, was going to the gym to work out. She said goodbye to ET and went to the bathroom to change.
When we were ready to leave, I stopped to admire ET’s drawing. The 4-year-old’s deadpan explanation was,
This scrap was immediately taped to our office wall in a place of honour. It’s a keeper… but I’ve always really hoped that the centre design was his attempt at a belly button!
Previous: Funny things my kids say #11
I’ve recently started watching The Walking Dead which, for those of you who haven’t been paying attention for the past three years, is a TV show about the titular zombies. Except, it’s not… at least, not in the way that The Vampire Diaries is about vampires or Heroes is about superheros.
The Walking Dead is actually about the people who are forced into a very stressful situation (as seeing your loved ones eaten alive by zombies would naturally be) and how their personalities and the group dynamics change in response.
It actually reminds me a lot of airplane travel. Continue reading
Posted in General
Tagged Air Canada, chair umpire, Funny, humor, humour, Television, travel, United Airlines, Walking Dead
I returned home from San Diego very late Monday night and I’ve since been up every night into the wee hours to get Halloween costumes assembled. Figured I might as well use the four-hour time difference to my advantage. Let me tell ya, the mornings have been a bitch!
Zombie Mommy (Not her best in the mornings!)
My best friend and I were going to our first real boy/girl party. We were ten and there was going to be dancing and everything. Don’t be alarmed, this is not how we dressed everyday… it was a “punk” party. I put “punk” in quotes because we definitely looked more like miniature hookers than anything else. (The birthday boy hosted his party with Sid Vicious hair and a black leather jacket. Very punk and so cool.)
It’s been a long day and I’m too tired to reminisce, but I can’t help but question a couple of things.
First, can you believe my mom owned black vinyl boots like that. Who was she? Cher?
And second, in what universe would wavy hair and a tennis skirt make me look punk? My reference sources must have been lacking.
I do remember that we were so excited, being allowed to wear make-up… and we wore as much as humanly possible. Good times!
Posted in Friday flashbacks
Tagged humor, humour, memories, photographs, Punk rock, Sid Vicious
On Friday, I’m flying to San Diego for a one day meeting. For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, I live in Halifax, Canada. Let me show you what this means.
Only if I moved to Brigus could this trip across North America be any further. I have a full day of travel on either side of the meeting. For this reason, I’ll be staying an extra day… gotta try to make all that travel seem worthwhile.
This may sound like complaining, please let me assure you it is not. In fact, allow me to present:
1) Lack of control – On travel days, my only decisions are which snacks to eat and what movies to watch. Everything else is pre-planned or not in my power to change. “I’m going to miss my connection? Oh well… what time’s the next one?”
2) Nothing to do – People watching during an airport stop-over is sociologically fascinating. It is an amazing cross-section of the population and even slightly odd behaviours are strangely amplified.
3) Long flights – I’m pretty compact and have excellent bladder control so I like to settle into a window seat and not budge until it’s time to deplane. It’s very relaxing to have hours of uninterrupted rest and am often asleep by takeoff.
4) Turbulence – I have absolutely no fear of flying and I’m able to find the science behind flight incredibly interesting. Never is the physics so apparent than during wind-shifts and up-drafts… Especially in a small plane!
5) Hotel bathroom – It’s a wonderful feeling, knowing the toilet seat will always be down and the only pee on the floor will be mine.
6) Strange bed – Sleeping in crisp white linen that I didn’t have to make, with nobody crying out for me in the middle of the night. Ahhhh, paradise!
7) Eating alone – I don’t have to cajole anyone to eat their food or threaten to give away their chair if they don’t sit their butt down immediately.
8) Jet lag – Since I’m not a morning person, it’s great that a 7:15am meeting start will feel like 11:15am. I’m also not a late night person so the time change is a great excuse to beg out early from evening functions.
9) Strangers in my room – Messes are just magically gone when I come back at the end of the day.
10) Being a nobody – The anonymity of travel is very freeing. I don’t have to do anything for anybody else, unless I choose to. Ironically, I become very generous when I travel.
11) Homesickness – It’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Being away from the family for a few days helps revive lost perspective. My boys are never so cute, and I never appreciate The Husband more, than upon my return.
How about you? Traveling alone… love it or hate it?
Back in July, I mentioned that we were planning our first family trip to the Florida theme parks. I hate crowded and noisy places so this is not my dream vacation but, knowing how much fun the boys will have, I’ve actually gotten a little excited as we’ve been doing the research.
Not wanting to raise any hopes, in case the plan fell through, we had kept everything hush-hush from the boys. But, as of today, our entire vacation is now booked… dinner reservations and all!
We briefly considered not telling them until that February morning when we woke them for the trip, as friends of ours successfully did this year, but we wanted them to have some time to save allowance to use as spending money. Also, CJ takes after me in that he easily gets thrown out of kilter by surprises. We once surprised him with a cruise on Theodore Tugboat… you would have thought we were on the sinking Titanic for all the fun he had.
So, we decided to tell them this evening after dinner but we wanted to make it a fun experience in itself. We laid out five groups of Scrabble tiles which they had to unscramble to make words. When they were finished, this is what they had…
After reading it aloud a couple of times, there was just stunned silence. Then 6-year-old ET, his voice dripping with sarcasm and incredulity, said, “Yeah… like that’s true!” Hmmm, I wonder where he gets that from?
Once we assured them that it was actually true (that we weren’t just being assholes) there was a small happy dance and some hugs and kisses… then they asked if they could go play Minecraft.
Well, their reaction might not have reached the level of excitement we were expecting, but at least we’ve got that card up our sleeves from now until February… Oh, please excuse me, I have to go tell them to get to bed or they won’t be going to Disney.
I’m only joking, of course. I would never use the trip as a bargaining tool for something so minor… That’s what Santa is for!
Do you have any theme park tips for us?
Escaping Elegance 