Tag Archives: Health

; My story isn’t over yet

sorry
Wow! It’s been almost a full year since I’ve posted anything here. I know time flies, yada yada… but that’s still very hard to believe. However, even though this neglect embarrasses me deeply, I’m not going to apologize. Here’s why:

1. The Husband says I apologize too much (usually for things that have absolutely nothing to do with me) and I’m working hard to change this behaviour.

2. This blogging drought was caused by positive circumstances in my life, and that’s not something for which to apologize. C’mon… even I know that!

In the past, when there was a significantly long lag between my posts, it was usually because I was having a rough go of it with my mental health. Unfortunately, my instinctive reaction to a depressive period has always been to distance myself, to retreat as far as I can inside myself instead of reaching out to seek much needed help. There have been many times over the years when this has nearly been the death of me… and I’m not speaking metaphorically!

Fortunately, THIS long absence was simply due to a lack of free time.

About a year ago (and totally unintentionally) I began doing things outside of the usual work and familial duties that used to take all of my effort. It was a such a gradual thing that I really didn’t even notice.

I got back into painting and revisited some long-neglected fiction projects. I started socializing more and began playing tennis a few times a week. I even stepped up my volunteering and became the chair of a non-profit board.

So… I guess what I’m saying is, I haven’t posted this year because I’ve been too busy living! Yay, me!

Now, while my absence may have been unintended, my return is very deliberate. This week, when I realized how long it had been since I’d posted (and then had the epiphany as to why that was) I knew that today was the perfect day to dive back in…

WSPD

World Suicide Prevention Day may not sound like a day to be celebrating, but it is to me!

Like many of you, I’ve lost friends to suicide, and today is a good day for me to remember that it wasn’t their fault… just like it wasn’t my fault those times that I came close to dying from suicide.

However, today also serves to remind me that it is my responsibility to SPEAK UP and REACH OUT. It’s my responsibility to #DoSomething.

Close to 80,000 people die due to suicide every year, that’s one person every 40 seconds. – World Health Organization, 2018

As much as I’ve missed this blog, it may take me a while to get back into the creative groove. I’ll try to brush off the rust as quickly as possible, but between now and October 10th, World Mental Health Day, I’ll also be recycling some of my previous posts on the topics of mental health and suicide prevention.

So, here’s the one that started it all… My fish are dead*

Yep, it’s good day to be back, and it’s a GREAT day to be alive!

P. S. I’ve missed you, too!

Advertisements

Life out of the closet

20140305-201004.jpg

Since going public with my dysthymia and depression, a few different people have asked me a variation of the same question,

“But _____ reads your blog, are you sure you want them to know?”

Sure, I could have just come out of my mental health closet to anonymous readers who I’ll never meet face to face. Perhaps my story might help a young reader who feels like they are currently going through something similar – that would be fantastic – but it wouldn’t serve to break down the barriers which I’ve spent so many years building.

Yes, people at work read my blog. (Hi peeps!)

Yes, parents of my children’s friends read my blog. (See ya tomorrow on the playground!)

Yes, my neighbours read my blog. (Can I borrow a cup of sugar?)

The honest admissions that I’ve made are about changing the perceptions that society holds about depressed people. I have an illness but that doesn’t define who I am.

I’m an involved and active mother.

I’m a wife in a loving and happy marriage.

I volunteer on committees and host playdates.

I’m a member of a book club and a writing group.

I’m a productive and sociable co-worker.

I’ve acted in plays and sung in musicals.

I’m a healthcare worker who loves to help others.

Sure, there may be times when I mope around in stained sweat clothes and eat chocolate… but who doesn’t? My depression doesn’t usually manifest itself outwardly because I have spent years and years building a life in spite of my illness.

Sometimes, when things get to be a little too much, I may falter. Perhaps I won’t return your phone call right away, or I’ll beg out of a social gathering that I promised to attend. Maybe I’ll look a little extra tired and run down because I’m having trouble sleeping. There are times when my depression gets the better of me, but that doesn’t change who I am.

So, to answer the question… Yes, I want the people who I know in real life to read about my depression.

That was the whole point.

I’ve missed you!

test patternHope you all had a wonderful  holiday and that 2014 is treating you well so far.

My apologies for such a long absence – last post was a month ago! Thanks to all of you who are still reading and I was very touched by those of you who checked in to ask, “How are you?”

I spread myself a bit too thin over the pre-Christmas season and wore myself out, physically and mentally. Unessential aspects of life fell to the wayside (zero Christmas cards were sent) and the blog was one of many things put on hold.

I’m now on the mend from a bout of pneumonia and feeling ready to face the Interwebs again. 

Stay tuned… we will be resuming regular programming very soon.

More than physical therapy

I'm bringing sexy back!

I’m bringing sexy back!

I had a physiotherapy appointment this morning. My sprained ankle from the beginning of August continues to be sprained. Everything is still swollen and is somehow both too loose and too tight at the same time.

The major issue is that I continue to injure it on a daily basis. I’ll take a step and my foot lands a little off kilter, or I’ll pivot and my foot stays in place. A couple of weeks ago, the doctor told me to “stay off it”‘ but then we both had a good laugh knowing that wasn’t going to happen.

Considering I have full insurance coverage, and I can see the physio clinic down the street from my front porch, there is no excuse for me not going for treatment before today. I just kept forgetting to make an appointment.

This clinic happens to be owned by someone I met through my work with ALS. Her best friend and business partner was a patient and they always came to the clinic appointments together. Today she was my physiotherapist. Continue reading

Boys, put your hats on!

The boys are in a great summer program that keeps them busy with a variety of activities. Every Tuesday is beach day. Today they hopped on the Metro Transit and headed to Chocolate Lake.

Much to ET’s dismay, this is not Halifax’s Chocolate lake.

Image: Making Fiends

Image: Making Fiends

Continue reading

Eight

Our son is eight today.

Last night he joyfully washed the seven off himself in the bath and then stood in front of his mirror for moment to say goodbye. Finally, just before he jumped into bed, he climbed onto my lap so I could have a last snuggle and kiss from a seven-year-old. It was a farewell ceremony filled with all of the pomp and pageantry it deserved.

My husband astutely reminded us that we will have another seven year old to snuggle and kiss in a year’s time, but this seven-year-old is unique and I’ll miss him. Please allow me to indulge myself for a few minutes. I won’t nauseate you with the details of his birth but there are few salient facts which must be disclosed. Continue reading