Laughing on a Saturday night

My girlfriend found lipstick in my pocket, I told her straight up I was cheating. There's no way I was going to confess I sell AVON .

— Jiminy Kicks It (@JiminyKicksIt) May 22, 2013

I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I'm impecunious.

— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) February 19, 2013

I was never a big believer in feng shui, until I took the urinal off my living room wall. It's like freaking magic!

— Jiminy Kicks It (@JiminyKicksIt) May 23, 2013

My girlfriend said I make her feel invisible. I didn’t even know I had a girlfriend.

— Brian (@BDGarp) May 15, 2012

A search party sounds like a fun way to look for someone.

— Jiminy Kicks It (@JiminyKicksIt) May 21, 2013