An open letter to my acne


Dear pimples,

We have been together a very long time. I mean really, since Junior High you and I have been almost inseparable. Do you remember when we first met? I do. In fact I still have that grade 8 school picture when you were peeking out from under my bangs. Boy, that was a bad perm!

I was also looking at my university graduation picture the other day and saw you. I had forgotten you were there that day. In fact, you were right there for all the major times in my life weren’t you? We even travelled the world together. You particularly enjoyed those long flights to Australia. For some reason, that recycled cabin air really brought out the best in you!

I will admit, we have had some good times — remember when we discovered that tinted Clearasil together? It never quite matched our skin tone but it was a lifesaver when Mom said we were still too young for make-up. And I think the smell of Sea Breeze toner will always make me smile.

I need to be brutally honest now — I’m not happy. In fact, I haven’t been happy with our relationship for quite some time. This can’t be a surprise to you. You must have seen the look on my face when you continued to pop-up for your monthly visits.

I’ve been putting this off for too long, blaming myself. I now know that it wasn’t because I ate some chocolate or had greasy food. And it’s not because I won’t buy the expensive cleanser. All these years, you have made me feel bad about myself because that’s what you do. It’s your nature to hurt me — it’s not me, it’s you!

Wow… I’m sorry if that was harsh, but it needed to be said. Because time flies, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and try to believe you just hadn’t noticed how old I’ve become. I turned 40 a few weeks ago. It’s really time we went our separate ways.

I will always remember our time together in the glory of my youth, but my body has moved on. If I’m going to have crow’s feet, saggy breasts and grey hair, I refuse to also have pimples. You may finish out your business during this month’s hormonal festivities, but then you will not be welcomed back.

Good luck in your future endeavours, don’t let the wrinkle cream hit you on the way out.


13 responses to “An open letter to my acne

  1. Pingback: “Freshly” picked from my mind…. | theseeker

  2. Acne and I had a torrid affair for years in high school. We were so close that my dear brother used to call me names (“Pizza Face” comes to mind). Many evenings I spent in front of the mirror in my bedroom, trying out various methods to end our affair (including liberal applications of toothpaste). Finally, after several years of pain and heartache, it finally lost interest in me. I hope yours does the same soon. If not, try the toothpaste.

    • Pizza is sooo delicious… that’s really just insulting pizza! 😉

      I do not know of this miraculous toothpaste cure – must not have been en vogue in Dartmouth in the 80s/90s.. If they dare show themselves next month, my blemishes will feel my fluoridated (and minty) wrath!

  3. Talk to me… I can give you the 411 on some magical natural potions that have helped me…but they’re not cheap! LOL!

  4. Hilarious! And so true.

  5. I’m not sure why you would want to get rid of one of your longest relationships. So many memories. lol

  6. Jodi "I'm too old for this shit" Reid
  7. Lol, gross.

    I enjoyed the company of acne in high school for a couple of years to the tune of momma putting me on Accutane. I remember the pill pouches each had a pregnant lady with the red circle and line around and through her body. Don’t get pregnant, ok I get it! Luckily, it left and never has really come back.

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