My children the novelists

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This is the cover of my 6-year-old’s book, De meder hu farpt – which translates to – The Mother Who Farted. Keep in mind that he is in French immersion, so his English spelling is a bit messed up at the moment.

This was written today in his after-school program with a little girl friend. He assures me that the protagonist is not based on me, nor his friend’s mother, but that this is a fictional bloated mother. After closely examining the cover art, I can clearly see that this is indeed not me. My neck is not that long and graceful, and I do not have a yellow bum.

The inspiration for this work can be found in the book that was written this weekend by his older brother and BDN’s son. The title of this opus is, J.P.G and The Noisemaking Anis – Book 1. Yes, that is an excellent phonetic spelling of the word anus and yes, we can only hope there really will be a Book 2.

The introduction page explains that “J.P.G. stands for Just Passing Gas or Just Passed Gas”. It also promises the reader that “this book is halarios”. My favourite part of their book, however, is the back cover where a teaser has been written to entice potential readers.

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“5 year old Martain is hearing noises from his mothers bum. Can he find out what the sond is?”

Aren’t you dying to find out?

Again, I’ve been assured that this is a story based on a fictional mother rather than true events from their own households. They are good kids so I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt. I only hope the rest of the world believes them when they hit the bestseller lists.

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14 responses to “My children the novelists

  1. Can you find what a fart look like? Worse than a martian. Your son is hilarious. 😆

  2. Pingback: The little things… | Escaping Elegance

  3. Brilliant. Just brilliant.

  4. No yellow bum, thank heavens! 🙂

  5. Sounds like a bestseller with the 8 year old boy demographic! Two farpts up!

  6. Tears in my eyes from laughing so hard!

  7. OMG, I laughed so hard at this, but at the same time was kind of worrying that it might have been about me… (we can be a tad crass in our house!)
    Alternately, when I first read your blog, I had wondered if BDN was me! Can you say ‘self-obsessed much’? LOL! However, the only reason I thought this was because your eldest had made a ‘movie-star’ comment to me one day… I think he sure knows how to increase the self-esteem of the neighborhood mommies! LOL!

    • My little Lothario…

      Although you can also accurately be described as my “Beautifully Dressed Neighbour”, this is not you. That name had been taken before you moved in! I’ll need to come up with an equally appropriate name for you 😉

      See, this is my issue… all of my neighbours, both sides and up the street are beautifully dressed.

      As for this being about you… you do have a long graceful neck, do you have a yellow bum?

  8. hiliarious!

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